Passive Support | No More Toxicity

Passive Support | No More Toxicity

 

I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago that really got me thinking. It gave me the vocabulary, I’ve been unknowingly searching for! The missing piece of the puzzle, I guess.

The podcast may not be for everyone but I personally found it very enlightening. Especially, as Jocko goes over these two little words…

Passive Support.

Jocko only touched on the subject of Passive Support as the Podcast was mostly about Insurgency within the multiple facets of life. I love that because we all have had “insurgences” in our personal or professional life in one way or another. 

Click here for more information about: Jocko Willink

 

Jocko Willink | Key Speakers Bureau | Motivational Speakers ...

 

Click below to listen to The Podcast:

Jocko Podcast 234: How To Win Using Your Mind Rather Brute Force.

 

What is Passive Support? I could try and stumble through to give you Jocko’s definition but he goes at it from a military/ leader in the workplace direction. It would be better for you to listen to him explain it on his Podcast than to have me try to explain his words to you. I’ll never do it justice.

So I linked an article that I found online that might help because I was shocked how very little I found on the subject of Passive Support.  Especially, because we all live a little of it or with people who do it! I hope this article helps explain it better than I can.

What Everyone Needs To Know About Passive Support

Passive Support in my words

It’s basically when you claim to support something or someone but have no action. Most all people are guilty of it. Talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. 

We see this hard core in the YouTube world, with Facebook, and with Politicians, even in our own families. You might like them, be friends, and supportive them but when something unfavorable happens, people will complain about the platform but still use it, talk bad or say they are not okay with “whatever” but still support the YouTuber, Politicians, friend, family member… but the “action” that they said that they didn’t support is still going on. No changes were ever made to be better. 

Say how much you dislike something or someone but continue to use the product or support them. *Claims to dislike the way toxic people/person holds others emotionally hostage or are incredible judgmental and hypocritical but yet you continue to support them and their destructive ways in your own social circle or family. 

Do you know anyone like this? Are you this person?

The abusive relationship can only exist in secrecy

 

It’s hard to think we might be one of those people being passively supportive but we all are a little in some way or another. We do this with people and we do it with companies.

I’m guilty too! I love my coffee so much that I find my self driving into Starbucks even though, I do not want to support them at all! I just love coffee. 

I should be more picky where I spend my hard earned dollars. This means, I should also be more picky where and who my time and energy is spent on and with.

The people I invest my energy in should not be passively supporting anyone who’s a threat… right? Causing conflict and pain in anyone life. Especially, if that life is mine. I would be a fool to invest time into my own destruction. I mean I could go down a rabbit hole with that one…

I’m not saying that I have the right to determine who is involved with who. That’s not my job or place but can we at least start to be honest for once?…That’s all. If we are involved with shady people or companies, admit it. If you aren’t gonna make the necessary changes than say that… be real about it. 

I found this quote off of pinterest and I think it fits well because many times the Passive Support that we all know is in our families. It hidden behind narcissism, fear mongering, guilt and will be denied forever. 

Toxic family dynamics. Toxic Sister. Toxic Mother. Toxic aunt. No-contact.

 


 

My flaws are many and I have had no issue sharing them all with you. Self discovery, recovery and continued self-improvement is something I have been working on over the last year, very hard. Emotional, physically and mentally. 

I’m far from getting it right and have a long bumping path in front of me. I know that. I know I’m the forever unfinished, broken project. I actually love that about me. Forever learning, growing and charging. Seeing what God has in store for me next. 

 

Joan Allen and William H. Macy in Pleasantville (1998)

 

Perfect is way to “Pleasantville” for me and not my jam at all. I like that I mistake and learn from them. Humbling myself, growing and being able to say that I’m sorry, is what makes me a genuine person. I need to be able to do that. We all do. People who can’t or won’t aren’t worth my trust or time.

What do you think?

I have wrong people and have been wronged by people. That is part of the life experience. We all will feel some growing pains, some more than others. Mine have given me a lot of wisdom and taught me how to do better, made me stronger but if I’m being totally honest, they’ve given me some resentments as well. It’s been a process getting through…I’m working them everyday. 

I don’t go out of my way to hurt anyone or pretended to care or to not care about a person. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I have always been as real as I can be with people and that has been a real flaw of mine. It’s been one of my biggest downfalls. 

However, when I heard Jocko Podcast and him say those two littles words “Passive Support”, I knew that’s what has been eating at me. It’s what I need to work through and say goodbye to.

I shut the door on ever reuniting with “the middle one” and I feel totally at ease and fine with that now. This has eased an element of tension for me so I know this was the right thing for me to do. But the people that surround us that Passively Support the sickness still disturb me. 

It will start with me continuing to heal myself and my protect my mental health and my own family first, then working my way outward. It’s always a tough process coming to terms with the reality of how things have to be but it’s freeing too. 

They say the truth will set you free and it sure has, every step of the way. 

 

sk